90+ Funny Marriage Quotes & Advice for Couples to Laugh Together

Marriage is full of love, commitment… and plenty of comedy! In this collection of 90+ funny marriage quotes, you’ll find clever one-liners, hilarious movie quotes, and tongue-in-cheek wisdom for every stage of wedded bliss. Bookmark your favorites or share them with your partner—they're too good not to enjoy together!

Short Funny Quotes About Marriage

Sometimes, all it takes is one clever line to sum up the rollercoaster of married life. These short funny marriage quotes deliver big laughs in just a few words—perfect for a toast, a text, a personalized gift, or your next Instagram caption.

• Marriage is like a walk within the stop. Jurassic Stop.
• Cherish is daze. Marriage is an eye-opener.
• Marriage could be a relationship where one person is continuously right and the other is the husband.
• Marriage could be a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.
• Marriage is finding that special somebody to irritate for a lifetime.
• Marriage is like a deck of cards: all you wish to begin with are two hearts and a diamond.
• Marriage: when dating goes as well distant.
• Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does madness.

Short Funny Marriage Quotes

• Marriage lets you pester one extraordinary person for the rest of your life.
• In marriage, one person is continuously right, and the other is the husband.
• The mystery of an upbeat marriage remains a mystery.
• Marriage is the bond between a person who never recalls anniversaries and another who never overlooks them.
• A perfect marriage is fair between two blemished people who refuse to deliver up on each other.
• Marriage isn't fair otherworldly communion, it is additionally recalling to require out the junk.
• Marriage: a lawful way to urge your clothing done without charge.

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Funny Marriage Advice Quotes

Marriage advice doesn’t always have to be serious—sometimes the funniest guidance is the most memorable. These funny marriage quotes offer a humorous take on how to survive (and thrive) together through thick, thin, and shared laundry duties.

• Always say "yes, dear"—even in case you do not know the address.
• Marriage is donate and take. Allow statements of regret, take fault.
• Never go to bed irate. Remain up and contend.
• Upbeat spouse, upbeat life. Sufficient said.
• Concur to oppose this idea, particularly when she's right.

Funny Marriage Advice Quotes

• The mystery to marriage? Two TVs.
• Never snicker at your spouse's choices—you are one.
• Keep your sense of humor; you'll require it.
• Keep in mind, she's continuously right, indeed when she's off-base.
• Do not keep score; you're in the same group.
• Marriage is generally around persistence. Parts of it.
• Select your fights. Spoiler: most aren't worth it.
• Marriage implies never having to go to the washroom alone.
• In marriage, in some cases quiet is the finest reply.

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Funny Marriage Quotes from Movies

Hollywood has captured the highs and hilarious lows of marriage for decades. These funny marriage quotes from movies remind us that love, laughter, and a good script can go a long way in a relationship.

• Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everyone Adores Raymond - Thumped Up
• Love means never having to say, "Sorry, I ate the last cookie." - When Harry Met Sally
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience - My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• You should be kissed and often, by someone who knows how - Gone with the Wind

Funny Comments on Marriage from Movies

• We need a witness to our lives. You're my witness. - Shall We Dance?
• Marriage is an adventure, like going to war - Mr. and Mrs. Smith
• To me, you are perfect - Love Actually
• You had me at hello - Jerry Maguire
• I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her - Notting Hill
• I’m your density. I mean, your destiny - Back to the Future
• You complete me - Jerry Maguire
• As you wish - The Princess Bride
• Nobody puts Baby in a corner - Dirty Dancing
• I like you very much. Just as you are - Bridget Jones's Diary
• You make me want to be a better man - As Good as It Gets

Funny Marriage Anniversary Quotes

Celebrating another year of marriage? These funny anniversary quotes are a perfect way to say, “We made it!”—with a wink, a laugh, and maybe a shared eye roll.

• Cheerful anniversary! Still putting up with each other's quirks after all this time is genuinely a deed of continuance.
• Congrats on another year of giggling at each other's jokes and keeping each other rational. Marriage is amazing!
• Here's to another year of sharing everything, counting the inaccessible control and the final cut of pizza. Upbeat anniversary!
• anniversary: the only time of year once you can get absent with making sappy affirmations and not advocating them.
• Another year of conjugal euphoria and still no sign of getting tired of each other's awful jokes. Cheerful anniversary!

Funny Marriage Anniversary Quotes

• Cheers to the one person who has seen you at your most exceedingly bad and still chooses to remain.
• Upbeat anniversary! In case anybody ever tells you marriage is simple, they clearly haven't been hitched to either of us.
• Another year of sharing life's highs and lows, and still overseeing to not slaughter each other. That's adore!
• Congrats on surviving another year of each other's wheezing and untidy propensities. Here's to numerous more a long time of rapture!
• Happy anniversary! You're still the primary person I need to irritate each day of the year.

Funny Quotes About Marriage Anniversary

• Cheers to a lifetime of adoration, giggling, and imagining to tune in to each other's complaints.
• Another year, another set of interior jokes that only we get. Here's to our brilliant and peculiar marriage!
• Celebrating another year of adoring you indeed after you take the covers and take off messy socks all over.
• Here's to the person who knows all my flaws and still considers I'm worth putting up with.
• Another year of marriage and still no one else has overseen to put up with our brand of insane. Cheers!

Add an extra touch of laughter to your anniversary celebrations with funny personalized gifts that perfectly capture your unique love story. These gifts not only bring a smile but also create lasting memories of your journey together. 

Funny Marriage Quotes for Husband

Looking to tease your husband in the most loving way? These husband quotes about marriage are packed with charm, sass, and just the right amount of sarcasm to keep him smiling.

• A husband is somebody who, after supper, continuously recalls the one thing he overlooked to require out the waste.
• Husbands are like wine; they get way better with age, but only in the event that they're legitimately put away and regularly checked on.
• A husband could be a man who never overlooks your anniversary, but continuously forgets where he put his keys.
• Behind each fruitful man may be a shocked husband who knows he couldn't have done it without her.

Funny Marriage Quotes for Husband

• Husbands: specialists at taking off their socks in places you'll never discover but continuously finding their way into your heart.
• A husband is somebody who thinks he's the ace of the house, but his wife knows superior.
• husbands are verification that indeed the foremost exceptional persons can disregard where they put their phone each day.
• A great husband is one who recalls his wife's birthday, and an extraordinary husband is one who remembers to apologize.
• husbands are like farther controls; they're continuously being misplaced, but you still can't envision life without them.

Funny Quotes about Marriage for Husband

• The most perfect way to induce a husband to do something is to recommend he's as old or unable to do it.
• A husband is a person who will eat anything you cook, indeed on the off chance that he imagines to appreciate it as small as too much.
• Husbands make the leading accomplices in crime—mostly since they're usually the ones making the mess in the first place.
• A husband is somebody who's there to tune in, unless you're talking around how he should do the dishes more regularly.

Marriage Quotes Funny for Wife

Behind every great man is a woman laughing at his jokes—or rolling her eyes. These funny marriage quotes for wife celebrate the humor, strength, and sass of the woman who keeps it all together (mostly).

• Marriage is finding somebody who'll put up together with your weirdness and still think it's cute, indeed once you wheeze.
• Being married means never having to inquire where the father is—it's continuously lost, rather like your persistence.
• Marriage: the only put where you'll be able contend around who cherishes the other more and still conclude up in a hug.
• A wife is somebody who knows your most profound insider facts and still manages to imagine she didn't see you in night wear.

Funny Marriage Quotes for Wife

• Marriage may be an organization where you both concur that you're continuously right, indeed once you both know you're not.
• Behind each effective marriage could be a wife who's aced the craftsmanship of noiseless eye-rolling and key bothering.
• A wife is somebody who'll laugh at your jokes, indeed when they're not clever, and imagine your moves are extraordinary.
• In marriage, the wife is the CEO, and the wife is the intern who's continuously late and needs consistent reminding.

Marriage Quotes Funny for Wife

• Marriage is like a never-ending sleepover along with your best companion, who continuously takes the final piece of pizza.
• A wife may be a person who'll remind you to require out the waste and conjointly remind you why you adore her.
• Marriage means you'll have somebody to fault for each misstep, counting the ones you clearly made yourself.
• A wife is a person who can still adore you despite knowing all your characteristics, like clearing out grimy socks all over.

Funny Quotes on Marriage for Newlyweds

Welcome, newlyweds, to a treasure trove of the funniest marriage quotes! As you set out on this energizing journey together, these funny marriage quotes for newlyweds will give a delightful perspective on the joys and quirks of married life.

• Newlyweds: the only individuals who still think it's charming to contend around who's taking out the waste to begin with.
• Congrats on your wedding! Keep in mind, marriage may be an association where both of you'll have your own uncommon “remote control.”
• Marriage is like a long vacation—except you never truly take off domestic, and your gear is continuously lost.
• Newlyweds are like kids on a rollercoaster; appreciate the ride and hold on tight—it's aiming to be a wild experience!

Funny Marriage Quotes for Newlyweds

• Marriage may be a parcel like a TV arrangement: thrilling to begin with, but eventually, you'll ought to capture up on ancient scenes.
• Newlyweds, remember: marriage could be a parcel like a deck of cards. Within the starting, all you would like is two hearts.
• Welcome to hitched life! It's like a never-ending sleepover where the thing you wish to keep in mind is to share the covers.
• Congrats on your marriage! May your life together be filled with chuckling, adoration, and only the incidental contention over the TV farther.

Funny Quotes on Marriage for Newlyweds

• Marriage is like a modern combine of shoes: it might squeeze a bit at to begin with, but you'll before long break them in.
• Newlyweds, appreciate your special first night phase - where everything is perfect and you haven't, however found each other's mystery nibble stashes.
• Congrats on your marriage! Keep in mind, the most perfect way to make a marriage final is to keep the comedy coming.
• Newlyweds, may your life together be filled with adore, chuckling, and the only the periodic warmed talk about who cleared out the lights on.

We hope these funny marriage quotes brought a smile to your face and reminded you of the joy and humor that come with a lifelong partnership. Keep these quotes handy for those times when you need a quick pick-me-up or want to add a touch of humor to a special occasion. After all, couples who laugh together, stay together!